Life Sketch

Todd Curtis Ransom was born to Michael and Laurie Ransom on Sunday, July 11, 1982 in Princeton, New Jersey and died on Monday, July 19, 2010 near Pleasant Grove, Utah. He grew up in Tucson, Arizona and Orem, Utah as the third of five children.

Todd’s early years in Tucson were spent playing in the yard, playing with his older siblings James and Melissa, and being a good big brother to Tyler. He was a cute boy with brown hair, bright blue eyes, and a dimpled smile. He attended kindergarten at Hudlow Elementary School. He learned to swim at the Kingston-Knolls community pool.

When the family moved to Orem in 1988, Todd attended Northridge Elementary. He played sports, tag, and kick the can with his friends on the cul-de-sac. Todd was active in church, scouts and recreational sports. He was a conscientious teacher’s quorum president. He played youth soccer, Jr. Jazz basketball, and was one requirement away from being an Eagle Scout—but refused to finish on the grounds that it was his decision.

He graduated from Timpanogos High School in 2000. He was always an excellent student in school, and earned a full-tuition scholarship to attend BYU. However, during his early high school years, it became apparent that Todd was suffering from mental illnesses. In spite of attempts to treat it, he suffered with bouts of depression for the rest of his life, and attempted to take his life in Ireland in spring 2008.

Todd always loved music. He sang in his elementary school chorus. In junior high school, Todd starred as the lead role in the musical “Bye Bye Birdie” in 1996. In high school, he was a member of Timpanogos High’s A Capella and Show & Chamber choirs. He also received a superior rating in a solo vocal performance of Schubert’s “The Linden Tree” in state high school competition, and sang with the BYU Men’s Chorus during his freshman year of college at BYU.

Todd graduated with honors from the University of Utah in May 2009, earning a BS degree in biomedical engineering. Todd held many jobs as he put himself through school. He worked for Microsoft and Qwest as a support technician, St. Mark’s hospital as phlebotomist, a volunteer for the Utah AIDS foundation, a transcriber for the hearing impaired at Sorenson Communications, Denny’s as a server (the one he’s most proud), and most recently, BD Medical in Sandy as a research assistant.

In his free time, Todd loved music and loved to sing and play the guitar. He loved writing, poetry, snowboarding, skydiving, gambling, drinking, the occasional cigarette, speeding on the freeway, the outdoors, eating, playing computer games, games with family, hanging with friends, and taking photographs of beautiful scenery. He was also talented with fixing computers—from the neighbor’s virus problems to customers of Microsoft.

Our lives changed when Todd announced to his family in 2001 that he was gay. Thus began the difficult dance that takes place between a faithful Mormon family and a much-loved son and brother who chooses to live a gay lifestyle. It was difficult for his parents to publicly acknowledge his homosexuality, and this hurt Todd in ways that his parents did not intend. On the other hand, in spite of his upbringing in the LDS Church, Todd insisted that family members affirm his sexuality in ways that put them at odds with their conscience and beliefs. Todd was very hurt when his parents felt that they could not attend his commitment ceremony with Jake Jacquez, his former partner of eight years, however he and Jake were both welcome in our home.

In many respects, this debate within our family has mirrored the current public debate on the nature of the family, both in terms of content and civility. At one point, Todd withdrew himself from us, refusing to speak to his parents or participate in family events. During this time, Todd sought support from Jake, Jake’s family, and many friends in the gay community. We are grateful to these people for providing friendship and love to Todd when he wouldn’t accept it from us. We loved Todd and wanted to be a part of his life. It broke our mother’s heart not to get to see him regularly and often. How she longed to just hug him.

Todd loved kids and was still a big kid at heart. He always made sure to go to Disneyland as often as possible. In recent years he was a wonderful uncle to his many nieces and nephews.

One thing that always set Todd apart was his kindness and approachability. He was always willing to talk to anyone about anything, and held an open mind. He used this skill to help countless people throughout his life, and no doubt everyone in this room was touched by him.

In the last week of his life, he took time to set aside his differences and visit with his family members or talk with them over the phone. Despite a rocky relationship with his parents, he made sure to visit them one last time, give them a hug, and tell them that he loved them.

Todd, we love you, and are looking forward to the time when we can be with you again.